Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
