Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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