It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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