tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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