So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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