Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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