I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
