Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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