Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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