So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
