Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
40s are totally the cure
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
