i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
