margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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