Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I got inside last night via doggy door
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
