Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
