i think i have two assholes
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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