We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
