I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize