the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
