This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
