Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
