Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
