i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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