i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize