It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize