Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
