she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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