Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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