When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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