my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize