I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
