I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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