did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
