nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
