you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
