i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
