Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
