windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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