check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She just used a chaser for red wine.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
