Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
