She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
