Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
