I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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