honey bunches of taint.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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