yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
