he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
