i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
