omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
