My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize