This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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