Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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