i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
