Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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