I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize