Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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