Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
