do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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