you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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