i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
