Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
