I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Boobs are out for the taking
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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