Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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