So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
