My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
smell my finger.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize