Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
