remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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