dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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