we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize