she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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