He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
