First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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