If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
